Friday, November 6, 2009

Screens 68-72- Commentary

In the original draft of Dual’s first season, Carina’s pregnancy was discovered by the amalgamated Bill and Yasu, the character I refer to as “X", directly following the dismantling of Carina’s car on screen 46. In the first draft, right after X blows a hole through Two-masks, X senses Carina is expecting.

The events and dialogue now being presented on screens 68-72 were originally scripted as screens 55-59 with Two-masks popping up with a giant hole in his chest as cliffhanger twist on screen 60.

I wasn’t satisfied with the idea of leaving a cliff-hanger ending to the season. The second draft of Dual’s season one script wrapped up the story arc with Two-masks.

I believe those edits made for a much more exciting and satisfying conclusion for Dual's first chapter.

Usually, a caption box will display the location of a new scene. The script doesn’t mention a specific location for the beach depicted on screens 68-72. I thought logistically, Santa Monica would be the most likely destination for Carina and Bill, traveling from Pasadena. The actual art appears more like Torrance Beach, a five minute walk from my childhood home. It really isn’t a specific beach, but rather the suggestion of a beach.

These screens are heavy with conversation and void of traditional comic book action. I made attempts to file down the dialogue and quicken the pace of the screens. Not giving these arguments the time they deserve felt like a disservice to the characters and the overall fabric of the story. Despite concerns about a slow pace for a project that only updates once per week, I couldn't bring myself to short change the story or the reader.

So, yes, Bill and Yasu will still be arguing at the beach through screen 72. But I promise, the story begins to ramp up toward much more exciting action and satisfying payoffs.

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